Football Girlfriend Rankings – In Descending Order
Now that the BCS [farce] rankings are coming out; I have become beholden to watching the rankings. I am enthralled in the games. But then some algorithm will ultimately make the choice. I won’t get started with my problems with this system.
Instead, I will talk about what makes my GirlFriend (GF) Number One in the GF Rankings.
Not Ranked. Girlfriend: Asks insightful questions like, “They play football in the fall right?” Yeah. “I remember that because that was when I was an outside cheerleader not an inside cheerleader.”
15-25. Good Girlfriend: She either knows or learns that College on Saturdays, NFL on Sundays. What type of beer do you want?
5-10. Better Girlfriend: “The addition of NFL on Thursdays has really affected the college game on ESPN. Not to mention the addition of a game on For Sports 1. NFL should have stuck with the traditional Monday Night game.” As a tray of snacks comes out.
Top Five. Super Awesome Girlfriend is a dual threat:
a) [After seeing the 20 quarterbacks that have started for the Cleveland Browns since 1999] “Maybe they need to start investing in an offensive line.”
b) [Early in the 3rd Quarter after a Peyton Manning fumble] “He can’t hold him like that!” right before the flags fly to penalize Peyton Manning. BTW: I made the wrong call on that one.
National Champion: Getting us free tickets and eats at a record setting game at Arrowheard Stadium where my favorite team is playing. Only thing better would have been a Raider win.
I am sure MY system could use some work. But have to start somewhere.
[Update: Same girl broke up with me nine days after this was posted. Said I watch too much football. Also chided me for wanting to do volunteer work. Throw this whole thing out!]